


finding clarity

by oceanrosiex



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Daydreaming, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Slice of Life, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:29:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4543281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceanrosiex/pseuds/oceanrosiex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru is too tired for his own good, and Makoto keeps him awake, if not fully, at least enough to see his eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	finding clarity

**Author's Note:**

> this was an introduction to an alternate universe i had in mind, but it didn't work out (the world structure collapsed as makoto and haru did the frickity frack and they all died) so i kept the prologue and turned it into a one shot. so be warned- this is just practice and an unsatisfactory ending in a fluffy mess.

 

 

 

 

 

~

 

Everything around him resembled a dream. His home was by the ocean and the place was clean, homely, and beautiful. The windows were tall and overlooked the place the sky and sea met, and natural light filtered in during the day and solar energy was used to power the house during the night.

 

 

The walls were white and the floor was either bamboo wood, marble, or cream-colored carpet. The kitchen was sleek and shiny and all steel. The living room was comfortable with lots of pillows and fur blankets. The bathrooms were clean and the closets were tidy. The bedroom was his favorite place though. Especially in the morning, where he loved waking up to the morning light half covered by the large body enveloping him. 

 

 

And don't get him wrong, even though he lived in a place that he rarely left, a place that looked like it came out of a hipster blog, he loved it. He loved it because it was so calm and so him. And also because Makoto loved their home too.

 

 

Makoto was the other half of his dreamlike state.

 

 

This is the conclusion that Haru came to in the morning, with Makotos strong arms around him, protecting him from anything bad in the world. Haru gazed sleepily at him, drinking in his peaceful slumber, his constant breathing, and the way his lips were parted slightly, soft breaths echoing around the silent room.

 

 

The wind was breezy and the sun ascended higher in the sky and the morning light was starting to fade. 

 

 

Haru didn't move though, opting to sleep in today and probably meeting their friends later than expected. He admired the way the sun shined on Makotos golden skin, and the way his bed hair was insufferable yet absolutely irresistible at the same time. And he felt an overwhelming sense of something amazing as he watched Makotos slow wake up pattern.

 

 

His eyelids twitched and he shuffled, moving and bringing Haru closer to him. Eventually, he yawned and though Haru's eyes twitched at the morning breath, Makoto looked adorable all the same. And then his eyes opened and Haru's heart relaxed and he felt so vulnerable and happy that Makoto liked to lay his eyes on Haru first thing in the morning.

 

 

Makotos eyes were lovely and mesmerizing and so forest green it greatly contrasted with their life by the sea. And under his lashes, he looked at Haru with love that Haru craved. He loved the way Makoto looked at him and oh, how it made his heart race and pound. 

 

 

"Good morning Haru." Makoto mumbled sleepily, voice clouded with sleep, but eyes fixed on Haru. "How long have you been up?"

 

 

Haru shrugs and cuddles closer to Makotos warmth. For some reason, their house is always too cold.

 

 

Makoto sighs as Haru gets closer and ends up wrapping him arms around him tighter, nestling his head on top of Haru's. "Did you let us sleep in?"

 

 

"Yeah." Haru mumbled, digging his face deeper into Makotos shirt, almost falling asleep again at the scent of him. Makoto hums, and they don't get out of bed for another 10 minutes (Haru keeps count out of the corner of his eyes, watching the clock turn each minute). 

 

 

Eventually, the sun is almost at noon, and the wind is less breezy then before and the sunlight pouring into the room makes it impossible to stay under the covers any longer. Makoto gets out first, hand lingering on Haru's shoulder before pulling away and stretching his arms and legs. He goes into the bathroom and Haru watched him go from the bed.

 

 

It's cold again.

 

 

Eventually, Haru decides a shower would be irrelevant at that point, and gets up slowly, ignoring the pounding of his fuzzy head. He goes over to the closet and pulls out one of makotos sweaters and sweatpants. It also wasn't unusual for them to share clothes, though it was just mainly Makotos sweaters on Haru. 

 

 

He walked out of the bedroom with the too big clothes on his lean body, and his bare feet padding along the wooden floor softly to the kitchen. 

 

 

The open area was nice, he thought to himself. The wall was made of glass, and the sea sparkled in the sunlight and Haru felt content. 

 

 

He poured himself some Japanese brand tea he didn't know, and another cup for Makoto. He started to wonder what they would do for lunch when their friends came over.

 

 

Makoto walked out, in fresh clothes, a flannel and jeans, and wrapped his arms around Haru, hugging him close. Haru accepted it, burying his face into Makotos chest.

 

 

This was mainly how the days went.

 

 

Haru being silent, Makoto being there, both of them touching regardless of whether it was sexual or innocent.

 

 

And then sometimes, when the two of them were really by themselves by the sea, Haru would scream and Makoto would cry.

 

 

Just because the memories would be too much of a burden sometimes.

 

 

The doorbell rings throughout the house and Makoto looks at Haru from the meal he's making. Haru nods and puts his book down (some short story by Fitzgerald) and walks to the front door.

 

 

He can already hear their voices.

 

 

"Haru! Let us in already, yeah?" Emotionless and already tired, he opened the door and Rin grinned. Sousuke nodded in acknowledgement and he could see Rei and Nagisa coming up the walkway.

 

 

"We're still getting breakfast ready." Haru said, and Rin sighed. "Again? You wake up too late. Try waking up in the morning. It's nice. We're coming in!!" And his friends pushed past him into the house.

 

 

"Good morning Haru-chan!!"

 

 

"Morning Haruka-Senpai. The house is still functioning correctly, I'm sure?"

 

 

"Yeah. It's good."

 

 

"Good, glad to hear that. It's very uplifting to know that my one and only architectural project was a huge success."

 

 

"Rei-chan, you built our lab!!"

 

 

"Labs and residential buildings are different."

 

 

"Mm, not really! In fact, last night, we totally did it in the cot we set up and oh it was really pretty Haru, because all the machine lights were softly blinking and-"

 

 

Haru nodded as Rei flushed and quickly covered Nagisa's mouth. "Nagisa please." He spoke in a high pitched voice and started to drag him towards the kitchen, with Haru following them from behind.

 

 

Makoto laughed as Rin made a joke, and Sousuke shook his head, but still chuckled.

 

 

"Mako-chan!" Makoto smiled. "Hey Nagisa. Rei. How are you both?"

 

 

Rei smiled. "Very good thank you."

 

 

Haru yawned. Yeah he loved his friends, but he was still tired.

 

 

"I have food ready." Makoto said, and the other boys cheered, Haru and Sousuke following behind to the table.

 

 

"Have they been getting worse for you?" Sousuke asked softly, and Haru nodded.

 

 

"Sorry. It's the same for me too. I'm lucky Rin is ignorant about that shit."

 

 

"They're bad at night." Haru said quietly and Sousuke hummed in agreement. 

 

 

Then they all sat down, ate their lunch (with Haru and Sousuke staying silent and the others carrying on the conversation) and eventually resorted to sitting near the glass wall and talking there, this time Sousuke popping in to converse a few times or so.

 

 

But Haru remained silent as he stared out the glass, staring at the ocean floor that never seemed to really end. 

 

 

What happened on the other side of the ocean when they left? He can only imagine and speculate of all the terrible things that happened before they made it here. Made it to this dream.

 

 

"Do you remember swimming in the Olympics...Haru?"

 

 

There's so much blue here near the sea. Back then, there was red and orange and brown dirt and black ash. It was horrid. He could still smell the smoke if he imagined it.

 

 

"Haru. I'm asking you a question-"

 

 

The screams. He could remember them too. And if he thought about it just enough, the sea outside would vanish and he would be staring out of his window to that horrid world on the other side, where people screamed and fires burned. People dead and dying on the streets. There were no more safe houses. He was alone.

 

No.

 

 

"Nanase."

 

 

No, he wasn't always alone. At birth he was alone. During his childhood, he wasn't. Makoto was there. And the faint memories of those days were of only swimming, in not an ocean but a pool. He misses the pool. He knows Makoto doesn't like the ocean much.

 

 

"Haru-chan!! Are you awake?" 

 

 

"Haruka-Senpai, do you-"

 

 

But it was after swimming with Rin in the Olympics, after Rei and Nagisa graduated college. It was after Sousuke healed his shoulder with time, and not much was heard from anybody else he had ever known ever again. It was after Makoto had left him for the first time to be in the army. That was the time he was alone. And that was the time when the screams and fires began.

 

 

"Haru." He blinked and everything he had thought vanished. He saw only the never ending sea in front of him.

 

 

It was Makoto who said his name, and Haru turned to him first. Makoto smiled gently. "Do you remember the good times?" He said softly, almost as if he was treading lightly on thin water.

 

 

But Haru didn't really mind, or care in the end. It was Makoto. He's too tired these days to think about anything else.

 

 

When their friends finally left, Makoto got back from the door and Haru was in the same position he had been in since they left.

 

 

"Are you hungry?" Makoto asked softly, searching for an answer in Haru's far away distant eyes.

 

 

Makoto laughed a little. "So dinner can wait."

 

 

Haru said nothing. In the short silence of alone, he had already started to imagine the red and orange.

 

 

"I have an idea." Makoto said, bringing Haru out of his thoughts again.

 

 

"You know how Rin and Sousuke just moved into their city apartment? They bought too many lights, so they gave us some. Wanna hang them up?"

 

 

Haru looked at Makoto. "Where?" He asked, voice hoarse and quiet from not being used at all.

 

 

Makoto smiled. "Anywhere you'd like."

 

 

Haru fell silent again, then reached for Makotos arm and pulled him over to the windows, and opened the glass door. They went outside, where the sun was setting and Haru pointed to the edges of the porch ceiling. Makoto sighed in content.

 

 

"Those would look good."

 

 

Haru nodded, then pulled Makotos arm back inside their house, closing the door behind them.

 

 

Makoto simply followed Haru's lead, and even started to feel tired himself, and pulled off his flannel, so he was only in his tshirt and jeans and crawled into bed and cuddled closer to Haru with his arms.

 

 

Quietly, they dozed in bed, slipping in and out between consciousness and sleep. After a while, Haru mumbled something so quiet Makoto asked him if he could say it again.

 

 

"Is this how we're supposed to live for the rest of our life?" Haru's ocean blue eyes watered, and shook in Makotos gaze.

 

 

Makotos eyes widened a little, then softened. He hugged Haru a little closer, and whispered in his ear.

 

 

"If it's with you, I don't think I mind."

 

 

And with that Haru teared up a little and clutched Makoto tightly, and fell asleep.

 

 

Makoto looked down fondly and then shifted his gaze to the moon outside his window.

 

 

Yes. He thought to himself. He doesn't mind.

 

 

This world, this world where even if it didn't look like it, you were always looking for clarity, is too tired to care about the details anyways.

 

~

 

 


End file.
